kelly update: some december

Clarkson apologizes, via Yahoo News:

I really regret how this has turned out and I apologize to those whom I have done disservice.

Shorter Kelly Clarkson:

Sorry my album sucked.

beyonce bounces. do you?

Really... I mean... this happens to me at least once a day:

We saw that she was pumping her hair around and really into (it) with her trench coat and high heels and as she proceeded to come down the stairs, she tripped on her coat and it seems like she fell on her collarbone and face, sliding down about 12 stairs....

...then she got up (bloody mind you) and kept dancing to finish the concert!

The show must go on, and a star can take it and give it back.

WORK!

don't eat the chili sauce (it's spoiled!)

McClatchy hot dogs here:

Millions of cans of chili sauce, corned beef hash and beef stew produced by a Georgia food company are being recalled in the largest botulism scare involving commercially canned goods in more than 30 years.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration on Monday directed stores and consumers nationwide to immediately discard more than 80 brands of canned meat made at Castleberry's Food Company's Augusta, Ga., plant because they could be contaminated with the deadly bacteria.

blonde bombs (sell)

Poor Lindsay can't get a break....



Poor Britney can't get it together...


Poor Faith doesn't look 16 anymore.

blame china

For all that hockey hullabaloo and that BITCH Anne Murray, too!

Because you can never blame enough people for Anne Murray, I spread the wealth to Earth's most populous nation, China. I am sure they had something to do with it.

As for the severe shortage of chuckle inducingness usually found on deniable plausibility, please blame China.

California smog? If you're the Wall Street Journal, blame China.

This is fun, easy, and the kids in Kansas can play along!

Blame China.