god, that's good

Careful with your coriander,
That's what makes the gravy grander

Sorry in advance for the out of context Sondheim quote proliferation that may or may not continue until December 21.

"Out of context Sondheim quote proliferation"? Did I just come up with the title of the Lifetime movie of my life starring Jennifer "A size 2 is not fat!" Love Hewitt? I think, perhaps. Or maybe the scifi, straight to video, animated feature, Star Trek F Minus: Out of Khan Text, starring, wait for it... Jennifer Love Hewitt as the young IM obsessed Klingon niece of Ricardo Montalban?

KHAAAN!!

Update: Here's Angela Lansbury at work in the original production of Sweeney Todd... "God, That's Good!"

sketchy details and innuendo...

...hallmarks of true democracy.

But, seriously... Those among us without a monogrammed beach chair may cast the first pen cap.

OUCH!!

blessed are the greek

The craptackular video posted yesterday of the View's Sherri Shepard giving credit to Jesus for, um, human history, got me thinkin bout western civilization and the Greeks and stuff and was reminded of this funny bit from Monty Python's The Life of Brian:

MAN #2:

You hear that? Blessed are the Greek.

GREGORY:

The Greek?

MAN #2:

Mmm. Well, apparently, he's going to inherit the earth.

GREGORY:

Did anyone catch his name?

MRS. BIG NOSE:

You're not going to thump anybody.

MR. BIG NOSE:

I'll thump him if he calls me 'Big Nose' again.

MR. CHEEKY:

Oh, shut up, Big Nose.

MR. BIG NOSE:

Ah! All right. I warned you. I really will slug you so hard--

MRS. BIG NOSE:

Oh, it's the meek! Blessed are the meek! Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a time.

Indeed.

jesus begat the romans who begat the greeks... um, ok?

Please Whoopi, whoop some stupid across the room!!

Isn't it ironic, dontcha think?

Late Update/Sass from a Jezebel commenter channeling Linda Richman :

BY LFW1031 AT 01:28 PM

Linda to Sherri:

"Sher, hon, come sit next to me [pats seat]. I'm gonna tell you a secret: The Jews were here first.

BC, honey. BC.

Now, why don't I make you plate of brisket or maybe you like a knishe? Come! Sit! Eat! What? Sher, you're practically wasting away!"

BC, honey. BC!

jiminy crickets: its fucking freezing!

Snopes:

The notion that counting the chirps of crickets can serve as an informal way of working out the temperature is not new — in 1897, physicist Amos Dolbear proposed the reverse of that idea, stating outdoor temperature determined the number of cricket calls one would hear. Over the years, his way of looking at this relationship was turned on its head — people now count the chirps to get the temp rather than consult the thermometer to figure out how many cricket calls they will hear.

We've encountered a variety of "cricket chirp thermometer formulas" over the years. One specifies counting the chirps over a 40-second interval, then adding 38 to that number to achieve the current temperature. Another say it's chirps over 14 seconds then add 38. Yet a third says it's number of chirps heard in 15 seconds then add 48.

The formula endorsed by The Old Farmer's Almanac seems the most reliable. Says that esteemed tome:

To convert cricket chirps to degrees Fahrenheit, count number of chirps in 14 seconds then add 40 to get temperature.

Example: 30 chirps + 40 = 70° F

To convert cricket chirps to degrees Celsius, count number of chirps in 25 seconds, divide by 3, then add 4 to get temperature.

Example: 48 chirps ÷ 3 + 4 = 20° C

i want a hippopotamus for christmas

Best. Christmas. Song. Ever.